10 Ways in 10 Weeks!
by KookieEvans
Summary: KLEMA. Crushed by the realisation that the only woman he can't get is the one he wants the most, Klavier Gavin falls back on a list of how to attract women from the Internet. What could possibly go wrong?
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, Capcom does :(**

**Author's Note: Hey guys!! I had this idea yesterday, and thought I'd post it up here :)**

**Basically there will be 10 more chapters after this as Klavier tries to win everyone's favourite Snackoo addict!**

**Please enjoy and review!!**

"Out, out, OUT!" A female voice yelled out shrilly. No one looked up. This was a common occurrence whenever Mr Gavin visited. So no one was surprised when the prosecutor came flying out of Ema Skye's office, lips curled into a cocky grin. "Stupid fop!"

BANG. The door slammed in his face. Two officers looked at each other and rolled their eyes. Ema was normally in a grumpy mood anyway, but Klavier Gavin just seemed to make her even worse. Now she would be in a terrible mood all day - surprise, surprise.

Klavier stared at the wood of the door for a short moment, a little frown creasing his forehead. He had always assumed the pretty little Fraulein was just playing hard to get. Most women were draping themselves over him by now. Heck, ALL women were draping themselves over him!

Well, everyone but her. And he had the Snackoo marks to prove it.

"Humph." Klavier shrugged, straightened his jacket and swaggered away confidently. As if a small, angry brunette hadn't just attacked him verbally and physically.

Truthfully his mind was in turmoil. He was Klavier Gavin, super prosecutor and Rock/Sex God! So why couldn't he attract Ema?

Was she gay?

Klavier pondered this for a moment, then remembered the way her eyes shone when someone mentioned Miles Edgeworth. Nope, definitely not gay.

The German pushed on the wood of his office door and slumped in his leather massage chair with a heartfelt sigh. Why was this bothering him so much? He had millions of smart, attractive women throwing themselves at his feet, so why should he bother so much about Ema?

Not that she wasn't smart. In fact sometimes her ability to pronounce such long complicated words left him in awe of her sheer love for all things scientific.

She wasn't exactly ugly either. In fact she was…sort of beautiful.

"Warten Sie!" Gavin shook his head frantically. To him women were hot, attractive, sexy, etc, but beautiful? "Verdammt!"

He had a bad feeling that his feelings went deeper than he would like to admit.

"Nein!" Surely he just wanted her because he was the only woman he couldn't have?

With a determined smirk he pulled his laptop onto his knees and fired up the Internet. He would show her. He would seduce Ema Skye if it was the last thing he did!

…

…

Hmm. This was going to be harder than he expected. Then he shrugged and grabbed a notebook and copied down the page onto the clean, white sheet of paper.

This was it. This was his weapon of seduction.

"Herausschauen Fraulein. Ich werde Ihr Herz besitzen."

**Author's Note:  The German Translations (probably wrong!!):**

**Warten Sie - Wait!**

**Verdammt! - Damn!**

**Nein - No**

**Herausschauen - Look out**

**Ich werde Ihr Herz besitzen - I will own your heart.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!**


	2. Personality

**Disclaimer : I OWN THEM ALL!! YEA-- No wait, never mind, they still belong to Capcom. Don't sue me.**

**Author's Note: CHECK THE END NOTES ON THE LAST CHAPTER!! I added translations :)**

**Well, here ya go :) Klavier's plan is put into action!! How will Ema react? Will it work? Find out in the next 900 (or thereabout) words!**

**Enjoy ;)**

* * *

_1. A Nice Personality  
__A nice, pleasant and good-looking man is always liked by women. Most of the women prefer stylish, organized and sober men over ill-organized and non-serious ones. A lot of initial attraction of women depends on the physical appearance of men._

"Pleasant. I can do that, ja?" Klavier smiled to himself as he looked through his notes. "Well organised?"

He glanced around his messy office and winced when, as if on cue, a towering pile of paperwork toppled over, making a small paper explosion.

"Maybe I need to work on that." He gulped. With a weary glance at his watch he knew he had to get to work quickly. He had less than two hours to get his office spick and span, call Ema up to him, then get to an important meeting.

While plotting his plan to get Ema Skye to fall in love with him, Klavier had noticed he had the perfect opportunity to make it work. Every Friday afternoon at 2pm she had to give him a report compiled of the results of the week's cases. Little did she know, these afternoon meetings were soon going to make her fall head over heels for him…

…Hopefully.

* * *

RIIIING, RIIIIIIIIIIIING.

Ema groggily lifted her head off the desk. It felt like her head was going to implode. Too. Much. Paperwork!

"Mmm, hello?" She groaned after lifting the phone to her ear.

"Ah, Detective Skye, can you bring up the week's report? I'm rather busy at the moment."

"Huh? …Wait, Gavin?!" Ema sat bolt upright, not recognising the serious tone. "Hang on, you're never busy! If you think you can make me come up to your office because you're too lazy-"

"Skye, I would very much appreciate it."

"Grr." Ema slammed the phone back into its cradle and snatched up the report, stomping out of her tiny cubicle of an office. She tapped her foot impatiently as she viciously jabbed the up button on the elevator, and subconsciously fixed her hair.

When she finally reached the top floor she barged out of the little lift and burst into Klavier's office without knocking, then stopped dead.

"…What?"

The whole place was…tidy. Organised. All the papers that once adorned his floor were filed tidily in new filing cabinets. The guitars were all safely put away, and the large stereo was - for once - turned off. The man in question had his back to her and was scribbling furiously as he completed his work.

"…Fop?" Ema managed to say, her voice small and quiet. Klavier turned to face her.

"!"

*KA-TONK*

"Ow! Fraulein?!"

"Oops." Ema's little hands covered her mouth in shock.

Gavin glared at her, rubbing his forehead, a pair of small glass on the end of his nose.

"You threw your pepper spray at me??" He asked incredulously.

"Y-You startled me!" She crossed her arms defensively.

"Who throws pepper spray? You're meant to squirt it!"

"Hmph!" Ema looked away, not wanting to admit she had grown so used to throwing snackoos that she didn't tend to use any other type of weapon. "S-since when have you worn glasses anyway?"

"Have you seen how small this print is on these documents?" Klavier smiled (but only gently - he had to remain serious). "Anyway, what's wrong with these glass? Don't you find them…stylish, and sophisticated?"

"Nope." Ema answered bluntly, trying to ignore the fact that while wearing those glasses he just looked like his brother. Not good.

"Ah." Klavier shrugged good naturedly. "Anyway. Back to work. I think you'll find I have the arrest reports for the Calvert case and the Eales case ready, they're just awaiting your signature. And, I've completed your general monthly report and found you are due for a pay rise. Congratulations."

With that he carefully placed a heavy pile of files in her arms.

"…Huh? You've finished the arrest reports already?" Ema blinked.

"Ja. All done. Can I…?" Klavier took the week's report from his employee's hand and nodded to her. "Danke."

And he sat back down, studying the paperwork immediately.

"I guess…I'll just go then?" Ema frowned, utterly confused.

"Thank you for your time Detective."

Ema's frown deepened. He was letting her go without teasing or flirting with her even once? Something wasn't right. She took a hesitant step forward, then leant down so her face was next to Gavin's.

Klavier glanced up at her from the corner of his eye. Her face was just inches from his. Her eyes burning into him. If he just turned his face…

"Gavin?" She asked softly, her breath tickling his cheek. Was this it? The attraction guide was working already?

"Fraulein…" He murmured huskily.

"…What the hells wrong with you?! You've been acting so weird today! You're normally so annoying and glimmerous, but today you're just…just…AHH!"

*KA-TONK!*

With the crinkle of a packet, the blur of a flying Snackoo and a turn on her heel she billowed out of his office.

"Huh." Klavier rubbed the red mark on his forehead where the chocolaty snack had hit him. He picked the snack up from his lap and popped it in his mouth.

"Urgh, The bitter taste of failure." He frowned, chewing contemplatively. "Ah well, maybe next week…"

**END NOTES :**

**Aha :) Poor snackoo'd Klavier. Poor confused Ema.**

**Review please!!**

**Tune in next chapter, for more Klemaish fun!**


	3. Character

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters OR the attraction guide! The guide is from http : // whatdowomenfindattractive . blogspot . com /**

**Author's Note: Here ya go, an update already! Sorry its so much shorter than the others, I couldn't think of anything to write here!! Please do review on your way out!**

* * *

_2. Character Is The Key  
A sound character is the key to a long-lasting relationship. The most important and foremost aspect for a woman's liking to a man is his character. An honest, trustworthy and sincere man is always in demand in the feminine world._

"Honest?" Klavier looked at his notebook and groaned. "Trustworthy?"

How on earth would he incorporate that into their short meeting?

* * *

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

"Come in!" Gavin called when he heard the unmistakeable impatient knocking on his door. "Fraulein, do make yourself comfortable!"

"Pfft, I don't plan on staying fop." Came the blunt reply, but Klavier just grinned.

Ema stomped over to him (climbing carefully over the once-again messy floor) and dumped his reports on the stereo/desk, "accidentally" knocking his feet off it.

"Aww, why not?" Klavier asked, smiling playfully. "Come on, sit."

"There's nowhere to sit!"

"There's here…" The prosecutor patted his lap hopefully.

"GRR!" Ema puffed herself up to her full height. "As if I would trust you enough to sit there!"

Klavier looked up suddenly, a dangerous glint in his eye.

"You don't trust me, Detektiv? We can't have that. A lack of trust can be dangerous in a workplace, especially in our line of work."

"Shame." She growled, and smirked.

"I think we should rectify that, ja?" Klavier took a step forward.

"H-How?" Ema leant back, eyeing him warily.

"Fall back into my arms and I'll catch you. That'll make you trust me, right Fraulein?" He stepped up behind her and murmured into her ear, making her shift a little uncomfortably.

"What? No!" She protested, and tried to scramble away, but only succeeded in tripping over a pile of papers. The floor rushed up to meet her, and Ema squeezed her eyes shut, awaiting the pain that never came. Instead, she was pulled back into a arm chest, and quickly realising the situation, she slapped her boss's arms away.

"Hey!! Get off!" Ema rounded on him angrily. "I didn't ask you for help! It's you own stupid rubbish that made me trip in the first place!"

As Klavier watched her getting angrier and angrier he quickly tried to think of a way to salvage their meeting. Be honest. Honesty was one of the things mentioned on this week's step on the list.

But what could he be honest about?

What thing did women want men to be honest with them about? He could only think of one question.

So he opened his mouth and said one of the most stupid things he had ever said.

"No, your bum doesn't look big in that coat!"

Silence.

Klavier's brain caught up with his mouth. He gulped.

"WHAT THE HELL?! HOW IS THAT RELATED TO THE PREVIOUS CONVERSTION IN ANY WAY?!" Snackoos were suddenly flying at him in their millions. "Is that meant to be some smart remark?! You-You jerk!"

***SLAM***

The door crashed shut behind the raging woman before Klavier could do anything to try and make it better. He ran a hand through his fringe wearily.

Note to self : don't mention her bum.


	4. Muscles

**Disclaimer : I don't own the list or the characters!**

**Author's Note: And I'm back guys! Here, I hope you like the chapter!**

**Why is it I'm failing with Author's Notes lately? They used to be so long...**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

_3. Strong And Muscular  
Most of the women find attracted towards strongly built, brawny men. A woman needs protection in this world where the fittest is supposed to survive and a strong man can give her the best possible protection but it is not a compulsory rule._

After quickly glancing at his note for his way to attract Ema this week, Klavier put it out of his mind. He needn't worry about impressing her wit his muscles. He'd find a way to fit that in during the day. No need to sweat over it.

*RING RIIING*

"Guten Morgen." Klavier flicked his cell phone up to his ear with a glamorous flick of his fingers.

"Fop." A deep growl thundered down the phone. Ema still hadn't forgiven him since last week. "I cant make it up to the office, you can come see me."

"Ja, of course. Any reason why you can't come up?"

"You'll see."

And then he was left with only the dialling tone for company.

What on earth was the detective playing at? Maybe she was luring him down to her cubicle of an office to surprise him with a romantic gift?

That lovely daydream soon disappeared when he remembered her face the last time they had met.

Maybe not then.

* * *

"Fraulein?" Klavier tentatively stepped into Ema's office, looking out for any flying snackoos.

"Gavin." The reply came in a tight, hard voice. He looked up to see the detective sat in her black swivel chair, arms crossed and lips pursed. The floor around her was covered in large boxes, and there was no where further in the office, or vice versa.

"?" He looked at the boxes in confusion. They were mainly pink and covered in gaudy love hearts. "You have admirers?"

"Nope." Ema said frostily, popping the 'p'. "This stuffs all yours. In case you hadn't noticed, the guy who deals with all your fan mail and gifts is away. So for some reason, the chief of police decided that I would be the best person to deal with all this junk."

Klavier gulped. He could sense a rant coming on.

"And before I could say anything, all of this rubbish was dumped here, and then everyone LEFT, and now I can't even leave the bloody room because there's NO WAY OUT NOW!"

Gavin squeezed his eyes shut and awaited the Snackoo that was surely flying his way. Then, he slowly opened one to see Ema looking at him miserably.

"…I can't reach my Snackoos. They're over there." She glumly pointed to the other corner of the room, where he could only just make out her Snackoos on top of her little bag, dwarfed by the waist high boxes.

"Hmm. We can't have that, can we Fraulein?" Klavier scanned the room, looking for a way to get her out of there. He tapped a finger against his chin in concentration. "Ich habe es!"

"…Huh? Speak in English, fop!"

"Look, Fraulein-"

"SPEAK ENGLISH!!"

"…Look, Ema, climb on the table."

"…"

"…"

"…" She sat in silence and stared.

"…Well?" Klavier asked, slightly unnerved by the sudden silence.

"No."

"Why not?" He frowned.

"Why should I?" She shot back.

"Because it's a way of getting you out of here! Unless you want to stay in here all your life…"

Ema said nothing, but gave a heavy sigh and unsteadily climbed onto her desk.

"What now?" She asked, exasperated.

"Jump into my arms." Klavier flashed her a grin.

"WHAT?!" Ema yelped and jumped back, stumbling dangerously. "Are you MAD?"

"Fr-Ema…" Klavier groaned. "Just do it."

"No! You'll drop me!"

"I won't! I'm strong, ja?" He grinned and flexed his muscles. "Come on, do it for the Snackoos!"

"…Ok." Ema steeled herself. "But if I crush you, it's your own damn fault!"

She stepped to the edge, held her breath, swung her arms and took the leap of faith (quite literally).

And she was flying. She squeezed her eyes and let the wind woosh through her brown strands of hair, and she braced herself for the pain of smacking into the floor…

But instead, she was enveloped in warmth.

She landed in her boss's arms, and she clutched to him like a baby clutches to their mother. Ema wrapped her shaking legs around his waist and gripped his back.

"Umm, Ema?"

The adrenaline washed over her so fiercely that she could barely hear him talking. She had made it! She had been expected to end up with her face planted into the floor, or being carted off to hospital after breaking a bone, but she was fine!

And she was comfortable and warm, and something smelled nice, and she could feel rock hard muscles pressed against her stomach and-

"Oh!" Ema realised what she was doing, and quickly scrambled away, blushing a fierce red.

"Okay?" Klavier asked, smiling softly.

"Umm!" Ema couldn't get her brain to work.

"Hmm. You look like you need a break. Go get a coffee and I'll clear all this away, ja?"

"Okay…" Without saying anymore, Ema brushed past him and fled down the corridor, in desperate need of some calming caffeine.

* * *

Upon her return a mere five minutes later, Ema was surprised to see that all of the boxes were gone, and Klavier Gavin was no where in sight. She looked around, but couldn't see him anywhere.

"Hmm." That was quick.

She walked further into her cubicle, and her face lit up when she saw her pride and joy, her beloved Snackoos ready and waiting on her desk. With eager fingers she ripped the pack open and devoured several within seconds.

As she crunched happily, she looked down to see a post-it note stuck to the bottom of the bag. She pulled it off, confused, and began to read.

Dear Fraulein,

I do hope my little damsel in distress is completely recovered, ja?

Enjoy your little snacks liebe J

- Klavier

P.S. I liked the hug, feel free to do so again sometime ;)

For a moment Ema just stared in silence. Then…

"FOP!!!!!"

**End Notes: REVIEW PLEASE!! :3**


	5. Smile

**Disclaimer: Don't own the list or the characters.**

**Author's Note: Hey guys! I apologise for the shocking shortness of this chapter, I really couldn't think of anything to write for this bit.**

I hope you enjoy, and please review - thanks to everyone who reviewed so far!

* * *

_4. A Smile Is Precious  
A nice and balanced manly smile is always a huge turn on for women. If you really want to impress a beautiful woman then a nice smile can be your best weapon._

Klavier's brow furrowed. How was he meant to suddenly make her notice his charming smile? He had known her long enough for her to have seen his smile many, many times before, and she'd never seemed that affected by it.

So how was he meant to make her notice his pearly whites? There was only one thing he could think of.

He was going to need a camera.

* * *

Ema left her cubicle at 2pm, sighing heavily when she thought of where she was going. How was she going to face that…that insufferable man after losing her head and hugging him (she felt disgusted at the thought)?!

To her shock it appeared that she was going to see him even sooner than she expected.

"GACK!" She almost jumped out of her skin at the bizarre sight that met her eyes.

Covering every inch of the walls, floors and even the ceiling (how had it got THERE?!) were millions of pictures of the fop himself, grinning down at her dazzlingly. For a moment Ema looked swiftly from side to side, worried that a rabid fan girl had somehow made her way inside.

However, to her relief, the only people around were other stunned and confused detectives, staring at the pictures as though they had appeared out of mid-air.

In fact…now that she looked at it…the pictures only seemed to carry on down the corridors which led to Klavier's office. Like a trail.

Hmm. Seemed there was only one way to find out what was going on.

"Follow the glimmering fop." Ema murmured under her voice, gathered up her documents, and carried on her way.

She needed to stop reading the Wizard of Oz.

* * *

*KNOCK KNOCK*

"Come in!" Klavier called out, plastering the widest, cheesiest grin across his face.

Ema stomped in, saw his face and froze for a moment, then shook her head.

"How are you today Fraulein Skye?" Gavin asked, stretching his smile even further.

"Busy."

Klavier blinked. She had actually replied, in an (almost) polite manner.

"Shame, ja?" His eye twitched. His jaw was starting to ache already.

"Yeah…" Ema slapped the files down on his desk, turned to him and let out a heartfelt sigh. "Look, what the hell's going on? What's with all the pictures? And that stupid cheesy grin?"

The smile slid off Klavier's face.

"You don't find it impressive? Dazzling? Manly?"

"Nope."

"…Oh."

There was a brief silence. Ema started to panic and look shockingly guilty. Klavier guessed the disappointment on his face must have been pretty strong.

"W-wait! I just mean that this smile doesn't necessarily suit you! It's just too forced…" Ema scrambled for the words to cheer up her boss. "Your normal smile is so much more charming and natural!"

Klavier did smile for real then, a wide, roguish grin.

"See? Much better. I-" Ema stopped abruptly. "What the hell am I doing?! Stop making me say stupid things fop!"

*SLAM*

Once again another meeting ended with Ema slamming his door in a huff. But this time he didn't mind. This time it was much better. She had complimented him.

He was progressing.


	6. Masculinity

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything.**

**Author's Notes:Hey dudes and dudettes. Gotcha an update, fresh off Word.  
Been writing an essay all day. Think I'm about to explode. Still need to write more *groan*. I hate Great Expectations now.**

**Anyway. Enjoy and review!!**

* * *

_5. Look Natural Rather Than Artificial  
The beauty of a man is in his masculine appearance. The beauty of a man lies in his natural look instead of a waxed body served with pedicure and manicure. Look natural and get the women of your dreams love you._

"Hmm…" Klavier raised an eye, pulled at the collar of his shirt and snuck a glance down at his chest. It wasn't waxed - he would never have such a painful thing done to himself, his body was a temple - so he didn't exactly look like he'd had anything done to it on purpose. Now he just had to make the Fraulein detective take a good look at his masculine body…this he was going to enjoy.

"Erm…Mr Gavin?" A hesitant voice brought him out of his pondering, and his head snapped up to look around the room. A group of his colleagues in sharp, black suits were all staring at him in confusion.

"Ah.." Klavier blinked, and his face flushed a little. "It's not what you think…I…"

He looked back at the unblinking faces and shrugged. What should it matter to them what he was doing?

"Ahem. Carry on." Klavier raised an eyebrow, daring any of them to say anything. The other men looked at each other, and hesitantly carried on with the prosecutors meeting.

Klavier looked down so that his fringe fell over his face, covering his burning cheeks.

* * *

*Knock Knock*

Klavier looked up. The knocking on his door was quite a lot gentler this time. His magic must be working.

He got to his feet, excitement almost coming off his body in waves. He'd been looking forward to this all day. He opened the door.

"Ohmygosh!" Ema squeaked.

Klavier leant forward with one arm above his head on the door frame, his chest completely bare. His tanned skin contrasted sharply against his black skinny jeans. His chest itself was well defined, with strong abs - which were dusted with a light layer of hair - and his deep six pack was almost magnetic to Ema's eyes.

"Fraulein. How are you this fine afternoon, leibe?" Klavier grinned at her.

"Gaurghh…?" Ema couldn't seem to form any words. "I…ahh…"

"Ema," Klavier spoke softly, gently putting two fingers under her chin and lightly raising her head so she was looking him in the eye. "I'm up here."

Ema's face burned red immediately, and she slapped her hands to her red cheeks, looking anywhere but at the man in front of her.

"L-Let's just get this over with, yeah?" She tried to step forward, so Klavier stepped to the side, but only a short way, so Ema had to squeeze past him sideways in the doorway. She trembled slightly when his stomach brushed against the top of hers. She quickly raced to the other side of the office. Klavier smirked, and followed her at a leisurely pace.

"Right." Ema's voice was strong now that she had prepared herself. He had just took her off guard was all. Nothing else. She handed over the files. "Here. Weekly report, as usual, and the case files for the Richmond case."

"Ach, Detective Skye, you're a mind reader! I was going to ask you for that earlier, but I forgot…Why Fraulein, is something wrong?" Klavier had noticed that the woman stood opposite him kept looking down at his chest, then looking back up quickly. "Whatever it is, get it off your chest."

"Eep!" Ema jumped. "I…I was just wondering - for scientific reasons only, of course - are …those real?"

"Those? What on earth are you referring to?" Klavier smirked again.

"Y-Your…" Ema blushed even harder than before. "Muscles!"

Klavier grinned, grabbed her hand and pressed it against his stomach.

"There. Do they feel real?"

"I-I…ARGH!" Ema withdrew her hand as though she had been burnt and fled the room.

"I'll take that as a 'ja'." Klavier chuckled, sat down in his massage chair and stretched out. "She so wants me."


	7. HardWorking

**DISCLAIMER: Still don't own anything!**

**Author's Note: Hey dudes!**

**I finished my Great Expectations essay! Yeah, take that English teacher! And then she told me I got an A for my original writing coursework!**

**GO ME!**

**Ooh, and someone mentioned my German was a bit off. Sorry! I was using a translator...I learnt Spanish instead of German last year (not by choice) - and I didn't necessarily do any learning in Spanish anyways... :P**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_6. Women Love Hardworking Men  
Women also find an admiration for hard-working men. Being able to work hard is one quality which guarantees success in any field of life and success is always a turn on for all ladies._

Klavier twiddled his thumbs and whistled lazily. With an impatient sigh he glanced at his watch. 2.30pm. She was normally here by now.

He sighed for the umpteenth time, and picked up the phone.

When it just carried on ringing, he slammed it back down.

"Where IS she?!" Klavier grumbled to himself. After several moments he decided that he wasn't going to wait around all day, and he strode out of his office and into the elevator.

While he waited to arrive on the bottom floor, he wondered idly if Ema was avoiding him. She did look pretty flustered the week before. Klavier smiled. He'd never seen her blush so much.

*DING*

Klavier swaggered out of the lift doors, greeting the passing Frauleins, throwing them cheeky winks. For each passing woman who swooned, his confidence just grew and grew.

*Knock Knock*

Klavier rapped gently on Ema's door, but his only reply was a soft grumbling. Then…snoring?!

He pushed the door open softly, poking his head inside the tiny office. The sight that met his eyes was heart-melting.

Ema was slumped over her desk, face pressed against her keyboard, and her inbox filled with work she still had to do. She snored ever so gently, and Klavier smiled slowly. How sweet.

"Fraulein?" He shook her shoulder softly. "Ema?"

She just grumbled slightly in her sleep, and her forehead crinkled.

Klavier sighed, taking off his jacket, folding it, and carefully placing it under Ema's head as a pillow.

Then he pulled her unfinished files towards himself and knelt down with a sigh. The things he did for women….

* * *

"Yawwwn," Ema slowly came back to consciousness, and rubbed her eyes blearily. She glanced at her pink watch slowly, then sat bolt upright. "Oh crap!"

She had fallen asleep! She was so dead! She had so much work and-and..

And what was Klavier's jacket doing on her desk?

She stood up slowly, frowning. That wasn't there before hand.

Also, why were all her files she needed to complete in her outbox? She hadn't done them yet…

Ema spotted a small, white piece of paper, and jumped upon it, desperate for answers.

_"Dear Fraulein Ema,_

_When you read this, please go home and rest. You need more sleep._

_Don't worry about your work, I've completed it for you._

_Klavier."_

Ema blinked. He had…done her work for her?

That was…sort of sweet!

Hmm…maybe the fop wasn't so bad after all…

**End Notes : Please review!!**


	8. Sense of Humour

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

**Author's Note: Hey guys! I hope you enjoy this, not many chapters to go now, eh?**

**Please review on your way out! :)**

* * *

_7. A Nice Sense Of Humour Always Pays  
A nice and pleasant sense of humour combined with intelligence is always a huge relationship enhancer. Men with pleasing and enjoyable sense of humour always find a long queue of women waiting for them. They are never alone._

"Hmm…" Klavier tapped his pen thoughtfully against his notepad. Sense of humour…

Right, all he needed to do was be funny.

That wouldn't be too hard.

…Right?

* * *

*Knock Knock*

"Come in," Klavier called, clicking off the joke website quickly. He heard the door swing open, and he span around to grin at Ema. "Ah. My favourite little Detective. Do come in."

"Gavin." Ema nodded to him. "Catch."

She threw his files towards him, and he snatched them out of the air.

"Danke." Klavier smiled.

"Right. Erm…About last week…" Ema cleared her throat and looked away. "Thanks."

"Anytime Fraulein!" The prosecutor smirked. "But why do you look so glum? How about a joke?"

Ema blinked at him.

"How do you get Pikachu on a bus?"

"…"

"Poke'him'on!"

"…"

"…Nein? Hmm? How about this one?" Klavier cleared his throat. "A man walks into a bar. Ouch."

"…"

"Wow. Tough crowd. What did the cookie say when his friend got ran over?" Klavier looked at Ema expectantly. She crossed her arms and glared. "Oh crumbs!"

"…Shut up."

"What?! Honestly woman, not even a giggle?!"

"Nope."

"Oh! How about this?" Klavier turned his back to her, took something out of his desk drawer and turned back. "Ta-da!"

He grinned goofily, wearing huge glasses attached to a giant fake nose.

"Not funny." Ema said bluntly.

Klavier sighed heavily, almost deflating. He slumped down onto his chair.

*PARRRRRP*

Ema's mouth twitched mutinously as Klavier whipped a whoopee cushion out from under his cushion.

"Funny, ja?"

Ema cleared her throat.

"No."

And she span on her heel and walked away.

* * *

Ema stomped back into her cubicle. What was with the fop today? He had been acting so weirdly lately.

She shook her head, mumbling about weird German fops, and logged onto her emails.

1 New Message.

Ema looked up, interested.

Sender: Klavier Gavin.

Ema's heart skipped a beat inexplicably.

She moved the cursor, hovered over it for a second, then opened it.

Fraulein,

Two cows are standing in a field.

Cow 1 : Aren't you worried about Mad Cow disease?

Cow 2 : Nah, it doesn't bother me, I'm a horse!

Klavier xx

Ema glared at the computer screen through a giggle.

Damn funny fop.


	9. KidLovers

**Disclaimer: Don't own!!**

**Author's Note: **

**Hey again! Back with another update! Only two more chapters (remember there was the Prologue so there are 11 chapters in total)!**

**Because the man you like with kids in his arms is the cutest thing you'll ever see as I discovered lately :3**

**Enjoy and keep up with the AWESOME reviews guys!!**

* * *

_8. Women Adore Kid-Lovers  
The list of qualities about "What women find attractive in men" is always incomplete without their adoration for the kid-lovers. Women always like the men who find it easy to make up with kids. Women consider such men extremely loving, passionate and affectionate._

"Kids?!" Klavier frowned heavily. They worked in law, how was he supposed to show Ema that he was good with kids if there were no kids there?!

After a moment of pondering he snatched the phone up and dialled a number quickly with his ambidextrous hands.

"Onkel Bergen? Hallo…"

* * *

*Knock knock knock*

Ema tapped her foot on the floor gently as she waited for a reply. Through the door she could hear gentle giggling, and her brow furrowed as she wondered who could be in there.

"Hee hee!" There was that giggle again! Light and definitely feminine, Ema decided. She scowled slightly, yet without really knowing why. Suddenly the door swung open quietly.

"Hey Fraulein," Klavier whispered. "Come in, and be quiet, ja?"

"Huh? Why?" Ema whispered back. In their job you had to do as you were told - you never knew if it could be a matter of life or death.

"KLAVY!" A blonde blur knocked Klavier over, and Ema blinked in surprise.

"Uft, Jessie!"

The German picked himself off the floor, dusting off his clothes, then picking up the blur, which turned out to be a young girl.

"Umm…Huh?" Ema stared on in shock. The girl in Klavier's arm looked to be about seven years old, with long, silky blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. The resemblance she held to her boss was uncanny. "You…have a daughter?"

"What? Don't be silly! This is my cousin, Jessie!" Klavier shook his head, chuckling.

"Oh." Ema smiled slightly, letting out a breath she didn't realise she had been holding. "Erm, anyway. Here's your files."

The detective went to give her boss the papers, but upon realising he had his hands full with the little girl perched on his hip, she just threw them down on his stereo. She watched as the little girl whispered something that sounded German into her cousin's ear.

"This is Fraulein Ema, Jessie. Say hello, she won't eat you!" Klavier replied softly, and the young girl waved shyly.

"Hello Miss Ema!" Jessie smiled slightly. "It is very nice to meet you!"

"Wow. Is English your second language? It's very good for such a young girl!" Ema took a step forward, shaking the girl's little hand. Jessie blushed and nodded.

"Heh heh. Her father likes me to teach her English whenever I see her." Klavier smiled.

"Really?" Ema looked up, heart jumping when she realised how close she was to him now. "That's odd. I swear she speaks better English than you do."

The prosecutor chuckled, shaking his head.

"You wound me Ema!" He laughed, and she quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Klavy!" Jessie suddenly poked Klavier. "Spin me again! …Please!"

"I guess I'll leave you to it then Gavin," Ema smirked, backing out of his office, while the man shifted the young girl in his arms and started to swing her.

"Goodbye Miss Ema!" Jessie called between giggles.

Ema paused in the doorway, and turned back, watching as Klavier stopped spinning the laughing girl and pulled her against his chest in a bear hug.

She smiled softly, before gently closing the door.


	10. No SmokingDrinking

**Disclaimer: Don't own!!**

**Author's note: **

**Hey! This chapter is more gentle fluff, with their emotions more in view. More fluff less humour for this chapter :) We needed some, right? :P**

**Hmm, the boy I like is ignoring me, but I'm going to a party later, so I'm gonna boogie and forget all about him and his annoyingness.**

**ENJOY the penultimate chapter!!!!**

* * *

_9. Too Much Drinking or Smoking Is Bad  
Excessive smoking or drinking causes dangerous diseases and thus serves as a mammoth turn off for 99% of the women. They cause deterioration in health. Occasional drinking and smoking is not bad but excess of everything is bad._

Klavier stared at the next item on his list. What on earth could he do for this?!

"Occasional drinking and smoking is not bad"?

He tapped his finger against his cheek thoughtfully.

He had an idea.

* * *

*Knock Knock*

"Come in Fraulein," Klavier smiled.

"Honestly Gavin, what did I say about talking German? What on earth does Fraulein even-" Ema stopped when she looked up at him, and stared. "-Mean."

Klavier brought the thin cigarette up to his mouth and took a quick drag, blowing the smoke upwards into the air slowly through pursed lips. Then he slid the cigarette back and forth in his slim fingers.

"Fraulein means lady." He answered finally.

"…Oh." She silently handed over the file, chewing her lip. "Umm…I didn't know you smoked."

"You do now."

"Right. I guess I'll just…" Ema backed towards the door and turned. Yet when she got to the doorway she stopped and sighed.

"You shouldn't." She said quietly.

"Huh?" Klavier looked up, confused.

"Smoke. You shouldn't smoke." She turned her head so that she could see him out of the corner of her eye. "Scientifically speaking it's very detrimental to your health. It lowers sperm count, is a main source of cancer, and it raises your chances of dying."

"I see."

"You…really should stop." Ema said haltingly. "I would rather…you didn't die."

"…Okay." Klavier smiled softly, throwing the cigarette into his bin. "For you, Ema."

The detective said nothing, just nodded stiffly and walked away.

Klavier waited until the door had swung closed, then coughed madly, gulping down water to try and get rid of the burning, vile taste.

His first cigarette and his last.


	11. In Control

**Disclaimer: Don't own!!**

**Author's Note: Oh my God! The last chapter!! I did it! I posted it on Valentine's Day! I was so worried I wouldn't do it in time!**

**This chapter is dedicated to everyone who reviewed (especially the serial reviewers - you know who you are!!)**

**So, I hope you have a good Valentine's Day, single or otherwise. Me? Single, but I'm home alone so I'm gonna sing and have a good time. And I had a nice long chat to that special someone I like so I'm ALL GOOD!!**

**Enjoy!!**

* * *

_10. Be Confident and In Control  
Women like men with confidence and drive. Confident men with explorative nature are liked by women as they provide innovations in relationship. Majority of women like to be controlled during sex as well._

Klavier Gavin handed over the money for the flowers in a zombie-like state. This was his last piece of advice from the internet guide. He had to make it count.

He walked away from the stall slowly, roses clutched in his hand, a box of chocolates under his arm. Today was Valentine's Day, his last chance with Ema, and people were staring at him.

"OHMYGOD, it's KLAVIER GAVIN!"

Drat, his disguise of sunglasses and a fedora wasn't working.

While he ran from the surging crowd of rabid fan-girls, he thought about just how he was going to use his confident nature to seduce his little detective.

* * *

*Knock Knock*

"Come in Ema!" Klavier called, trying to ignore the butterflies in his stomach (the metaphorical ones of course - who on earth would eat butterflies?).

"Hey Gavin, I've got your reports all here." Ema entered his office, not noticing - or at least, not commenting on - the gifts on his desk. "Catch."

Klavier grabbed them out of the air, chucked them to one side and beckoned to the young woman.

"And I have something for you."

Ema tilted her head to one side, confused, as she walked over to him. He clapped his hands, there was a puff of smoke and he was holding the flowers (feeling very glad that he had paid attention to Trucy's magic tricks).

Ema's mouth opened into a little 'o' of surprise.

"For me?" She squeaked, and upon his prompting she took the roses off him shakily.

"Don't worry about thorns - I got rid of them." He grinned, holding up his cut and bandaged fingers.

"D-Don't be silly. I bet you do this for all the girls. I'm not falling for any tricks Fop." She glared up at him, only to be presented with a huge box of chocolates. "Snackaroonies?"

"Ja. They're a new type of chocolate. It's like Snackoos, but with different flavours and textures. It's not meant to be in shops until next month, but I pulled a few strings."

Ema stared at him in shock. He smirked, playing with his fringe.

"W-Wow." Ema said quietly, and perched her bum on the corner of his desk, looking out of the window, trying to make sense of what was going on. Klavier sat down next to her, and smiled softly.

"Nice day, isn't it?" He looked out at the bright streets.

"Yes." She jumped upon the topic eagerly, glad for an excuse to get away from the awkwardness, and to get back to her usual grumpy self. "Too nice to be stuck inside."

"Let's go outside then." Klavier smiled when Ema looked up quickly.

"Umm…How? We sort of have a job to do Fop! You might not do any work, but I do!"

"Hey, I'M the boss. If I want to give you a day off I will." Klavier raised an eyebrow. "We're going for a walk in the park to enjoy the sun, and I'm not taking no for an answer!"

"…Jerk." Ema mumbled under her breath as they walked out of his office.

* * *

The crunch of twigs underfoot and giggles filled the air in the park. Everywhere Ema looked there seemed to be couples having fun, eating picnics, chasing each other around, and strolling arm-in-arm.

She pouted. Valentine's Day sucked.

She grabbed Klavier's arm and led him to the nearest empty bench.

"Right. I want answers. What's all this about? Why have you been acting so weird the last few months? I swear to God you have multiple personality dis-MMPH!"

Klavier cut her off mid-rant by smashing his lips to hers. She jumped and her eyes flew wide open, but the German just carried on kissing her, until she surprised herself by kissing back. She inched closer to him, and he lifted her up into his lap while she twined her fingers into his hair.

He caressed her back with his strong hands, while his tongue flicked past her lips. Ema moaned into his mouth and pressed herself closer to him.

It was unbelievable. Klavier felt like he was on fire. His heart was beating like crazy, his brain was screaming and his whole body was filled with little electric shocks. This was like no other kiss he'd ever experienced.

As they broke apart reluctantly for air, he lowered his face into her trembling neck and kissed her pale throat. He wanted more, so much more, he wanted this moment to last forever, he wanted Ema to be with him always…

And it scared him.

"Ema…" He moaned quietly as she shook silently.

"…Klavier." She answered eventually.

"Was that…the same for you?" He asked, keeping his face hidden in her shoulder.

"I…yes…I…Wait, are you blushing?!"

Klavier looked away, his face getting hotter and hotter.

"Shush Fraulein."

"Oh my God, you are!" She burst out laughing, balanced precariously on his lap. Klavier scowled at her, which just made her laugh even more.

Suddenly, his lips were pressed to hers again, and she soon stopped laughing.

After a few moments he pulled away and smiled cheerily. He pulled the note book with all of his notes from the internet out of his pocket and dropped it into the bin by the bench.

"What was that?" Ema asked huskily, through kiss-bruised lips.

"Just something I won't need anymore." He smiled sexily and Ema grinned right back at him. "Now, where were we?"

**THE END**


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